They all have their opinions

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:34:18 GMT

i'm sitting in the food court on my lunch. i feel like i'm deteriorating. i'm just dissolving into this terrible routine. i can't stand my job. everyone argues and no one knows what they're doing. no one even cares. i feel like i need to see a therapist or something. on a side note, i hate seeing people with their kids. for one, i just don't like kids. two, they don't look happy. almost everyone in the mall has a baby. It's weird. the people in this area breed as if they need to repopulate the planet. i've seen women in my store with 5 kids, each a year apart, and pregnant. That's insane! i just can't deal with it. most of them ignore their kids in our store, too. ugh. i need a break. i want to go home. i miss my friends and family. i need a hug lol.

fuck trophies

Fri, 22 May 2009 15:33:16 GMT

http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/844

I'm sick and tired of people telling Noah and me that we either NEED to have children or WILL have children. I don't get why people can't understand why we DON'T want them. I know it makes some people happy and it's supposed to be a gift or some bullshit. I don't care. A lot of people I know with kids aren't happy. I think it's silly and just another thing to brag about to someone because people LOVE talking about themselves.

We don't want kids. Ever. We're selfish. We want to be able to travel. We like saving money and doing the things we want to do. We don't want something to tie us down. We want to live in new areas for his work. Why would we want to constantly uproot a kid? That doesn't sound good for a child at all.

I have a low tolerance for people and am extremely irritable. Most "adults" annoy the piss out of me. So, how will I react with something that constantly craves attention from me and only me? Not well. I am very impatient and I like things done my way. I don't like dealing with obnoxious noises and I am a neat freak. I don't need some little monster ravaging through my house. No thank you.

So, please, stop telling me that I love kids and I need them. Sure, our children would be the most attractive and smartest kids in the universe. That's a given (lol). I don't care. Kids are cute in small doses. They can do cute things and say silly stuff. We neither NEED nor WANT them. Our cat is enough for us, and is much more loving and adorable than a child.

holy fucking tits

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:46:10 GMT

When I was little, I had a little Hello Kitty toy. She was a bath toy, but I hadn't remembered that. I loved her so much. She is one of the few toys I remember from my childhood. I asked my mother if she kept it. She informed me that it got all messed up from me taking it into the bath and carrying it around. I really wanted to have her. That was when my Hello Kitty obsession started, so I thought it would be neat to have. (Also, because I'm so OG.)

While looking through Etsy.com, I found her! In pretty darn good condition, too. She was only $10!! Can you believe it? It was meant to be. I need to scan pictures of me when I was little, carrying her around. I must have got her for Christmas when I was 2 or 3. I am so excited! I can't wait to get her in the mail. :)

miyew

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:24:43 GMT

I feel like I should write, but I don't know what to say...

Noah and I have been married for a year. It's weird. Time goes quickly.

I still get shit for hours. Whatevs. I'm way too lazy to find a different job.

It got cold again here. That's no fun. I want to play outside :(.

This is boring. I got nothin'. Sorry?

Marshmallow

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:41:22 GMT

This is the adorable kitten I've been babysitting for the past week. it's been nice to have a kitty around to play with and pet. She is awfully rambunctious, though! She starts playing too rough sometimes and it makes me want to beak her little neck!!!! Fortunately, I can give her back. I'll miss her some, but it will be nice to not have kitty litter all over my bathroom...

confusion

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:11:59 GMT

i can't stop having these bad dreams. i mean, every night i have weird dreams, but much too often i have really similar bad dreams. they leave me with this horrible, depressed feeling all day. i can think of only one other time where i have felt so discarded. i hate it and i don't know how to fix it. i have some ideas, but i don't know if i can do it...

ps why does it seem like english majors lately are a little retarded? like, they can't use the right words or spell corretly! my apartment complex sent out a letter saying we everyone needed to "distinguish your cigarette butts appropriately." noah and i decided to place full cigs around the complex so that the smoked ones are easily distinguished...

xmas

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 01:42:57 GMT

It's Christmas Day. I have spent it alone, on the computer. Go Navy! Yes, Noah has duty on Christmas. So, I have neither family, friends, nor husband on a holiday again. I am so lonely.

It's okay, though. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. It was in the 60's today. That's not very December-ish at all. It's weird. My body's schedule is all jacked.

I will probably die when i go to Michigan. It should be a pleasant death, though. I hope it happens while sledding, in an epic fashion. I can't wait to sled. All the snow better not melt!

I am so excited to see my family. I miss them all so much. Talking to them on the phone made me feel even more lonely. I'm just worried about my mom and I want to be there for her. I feel so useless and i can't stand it.

I need a break from Virginia. I need time away from H&M and the crew. I need some Michigan time. I need my Lolita kitty. I need an adventurous drive with my husband. I just need a break from thinking.

fuck

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:43:01 GMT

my head is fucking killing me. i feel like my brain is exploding.

i'm so depressed, i don't feel like leaving the house. my life revolves around H&M and zelda.

my husband is amazing, but i feel stuck in a rut. i hardly even want to go to michigan, which is weird because i miss so many people.

this should really stop soon. k thx.

hot pockets

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:19:43 GMT

i am so fucking depressed.

i have no idea why.

i totally hate it.

perhaps lucky charms will help.

i think i just need a family hug, namely from the cfiz.

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 02:30:04 GMT

i waste all of my time. why is it so hard to be productive? why is it so hard to be something important? i'm just too lazy for my own good.

Dear Michigan Friends,

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:50:36 GMT

I got out of work at 1 today to step into a gorgeous and sunny day. That is correct: 11-15-08, 77 degrees. Sure, it's been raining some today, but that doesn't mean the temperature isn't awesome. So, my dearest Michigan, I suppose there are some good things about Virginia :D.

new hat

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:12:59 GMT

yay, i love crocheting hats!

merrrr

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:35:41 GMT

sushi, can you understand my tragedy? SO TRAGIC!!!

i wish i could be that guy that tries so hard to be something else just to be accepted.

no wait, i enjoy being myself, whether or not i am accepted. i would much rather have no friends at all than have people like me for being fake. i can't imagine spending my whole life trying my best to be an entirely different person. and to be so desperate for approval that i'll take anybody or anything i can have.

i don't know. i suppose i'll never be able to understand everything. i just wish i knew people as well as i thought i did. it's sad to think about all the fake people around you.

i'm glad my husband is my best friend. i'm glad i still have michigan friends that i can talk to on the phone as if we just saw each other.

i wish i could control the world.

Chipotle

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:18:59 GMT

Noah and I went on another nature adventure this past weekend. We drove to Chippokes Plantation State Park. It's a working farm on the James River that has been made into a state park because it's been around for so long. We didn't go around the entire place, but we did go down to the river. We were looking at pictures online and it looked gorgeous. It did not disappoint in person!

This field was so pretty. The leaves are just now turning colors.

I found a four leaf clover! There were tons of huge clovers there.

James river

James River, me skipping a shell

Speaking of shells, there were tons of them!!

They were huge, too!

For seriously.

And there were little baby crabs.

It was super pretty. I'm glad we came at sunset. It was a really nice trip.

hmm

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 15:33:23 GMT

Noah and I started working out lately. I want a kickass stomach. And no more love handles. I've always had them, though. Dunno if they'll leave... hmmm... Anyway, I'm working, ever so slightly, to be ultimate hottie (errr somethin'.) I'm really bored. Just wasting time until work.

I've been really depressed lately. Well, the past couple of days have been good. I've just been feeling... mopey I guess. I can't think of a more appropriate word right now. Carving pumpkins and going on an apple adventure have helped it out a lot. I'm still getting down though...

I think It's just from working so much. Whenever I work a lot, no matter where, I get really moody. I think it's just a feeling of being stuck and not being to do what I want. I don't like feeling tied down. I want to feel like I can get up and do whatever whenever. It's okay, I have very few hours for the next two weeks. That should help, especially since next week Noah and I have requested time off to just hang out with each other.

He's basically my best friend. Practically my only friend seeing as Byerly is moving in a few days. Oh wells, who needs friends? They just let me down anyway. I'm oooover it :)

Autumn

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:59:41 GMT

I made a delicious apple pie yesterday. I am the master of the kitchen! Seriously, this pie was kickass. We still have another million apples, so I'll probably make another. I am slightly upset about having to work Halloween night. I want to give out candy to trick or treaters. Oh wells... We are going out to the gay bar that night. Noah's friend is in the process of being gay and it's awesome hahah. Anyway, I think Noah is going to be Michael Myers. Or some masked killer. I'll probably just be a kitty cat again. So boring, i knowww... But I'll be cute! I don't really have anything else to write about. Nothing really new... Meh?

pumpkins

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 03:11:56 GMT

Noah and I carved our pumpkins. We went into Williamsburg to get them and some apples and cider. We got Chesapeake apples (no Macintosh D:!!!) and they are surprisingly delicious! Almost as sweet and soft as Macintosh, but not quite the same. Anyway, here are our cute pumpkins!!

Noah's

Mine

virginia

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 00:08:00 GMT

i think i got over being homesick. i mean, i miss my cat, a certain 5 year old, and a baby. that's about it. i miss my mom, too. but yeah, i'm slowly getting over it all. i enjoy talking to people on the phone and i've finally accepted that that's all i can have. it's like i'm enjoying virginia more or making it my new home, i've just given up. i'm giving up on a lot of things. mostly trying to erase all feelings from my body. life is easier when you're a robot.

fucklife

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 14:56:33 GMT

I come home yesterday from a delicious meal at Taco Bell, and I see that our hot water heater is flooding our kitchen. "Awesome," i say to myself while running to the office. We have had problems with that damn thing for a month now and have complained at least once a week. Not a thing has been done. Well, good job Anthony (apartment manager), because now it's fucking flooding my damn place!!! Water is even in the padding in our carpet right by our kitchen :(. Robert (maintenance guy) came and vacuumed it up. He replaced the faucet where it was spraying from. That still doesn't solve our issue of the heater not clicking on and only filling the tank one time. (That one time happens to be in the morning when I hit the fucking reset button.) Robert said he'd be back in the morning to replace the thermostat, but who knows if he'll ever be back here. He was also supposed to order us a light bulb for our fridge that was burned out before we moved in. Fuck this place and fuck my life. Floods = no fun :'(

emos

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:02:11 GMT

i saw a dead cat on an on-ramp for 264 today.

it's sorrow penetrated my soul.

so sad.

Trip

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:33:10 GMT

Noah and I needed a break from all this city business, so we drove about 3 hours west of Virginia Beach to go to the Pocahontas State Forest Park. It was so pretty! It had lots of trails and picnic areas. It was huge. We were in heaven. We stopped through Petersburg, VA on the way back. It's crazy old and amazing. Through the historic part of town, the roads are all brick, same as the buildings. There was also a huge cemetery that had been there since the 1800s. It was all so gorgeous. I couldn't handle it heh. I definitely needed this...

cute happy turtles in Beaver Lake (heh)

a falcon i was spying on, then spied on me....

Beaver Lake (meheh)

Noah, looking victorious

Most of the tombstones were old like this. Many had gates, too. Not sure why, but they were badass lookin' lol

This was only a small section of the cemetery. Multiply this picture by a gazillion, and that's the rest :)

There were confederate flags all over that bitch. I found it amusing because it made me think of Ortonville rednecks. There was a separate area for fallen confederate soldiers. It was pretty cool.

Phil! Ken! Seb... ben..

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 18:48:59 GMT

I am so tired. I have been working over 30 hours each week since I've been back from Michigan. That's a lot that I'm not used to. How do my hours suddenly double? I keep picking up shifts and stuff. We really need the extra money, but it still wears me out.

Byerly came over last night. She has been having some relationship issues. She was so distraught that I forced her to come over. I made her watch Grandma's Boy. (So weird that she hasn't seen it before...) She had a good laugh, she definitely needed it.

Noah has duty today, which is wicked lame. I'm going to see him like twice in the next week. Fucking Navy and fucking H&M. I have Sunday off, thankfully. I'm not sure what we're doing that day, but it better be something god damn fun!

I saw Nick and Nora the other night. Damn AMC charged us $10 a ticket. Wtf? Not cool... It was really cute, though. So awkward, so adorable.

I'm still reading my old entires. Some fun memories, some crappy ones. A lot that I erased from my mind. Oh well. It's still interesting to read. I don't feel like I've changed enough since 2005. That's sad to me. I need to figure my shit out.

black debbie

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:04:21 GMT

i wish i were still taking english classes. well, i mean, i wish i were able to just go to a class and learn whatever i felt like learning without any pressure to do bullshit i don't want to. but, i like to write and i like to read short stories and poems.

i was so angsty in '05. ridiculously. so much death. a lot more death than now. a lot less random, too. my recent thoughts are much more scattered. perhaps i'm losing my grip on reality? who knows...

i have the weekend off of work, thank god. 8 days of work in a row. that's insane for me. i really need money, though. i'm sick of paying someone else's bills. retarded. maybe that "someone else" should realize she's 25 and should act her fucking age. whore. i really want to see nick and nora's infinite playlist tonight. like, a lot. i looooove michael cera. i want him to be my high school sweetheart. no joke. he is so awkward. <333

Thanks, Sushi!!!

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:01:30 GMT

Sushi inspired me. (I don't read enough people's journals.)

I'm going through my old entries and reading them to see where i stood as a person years ago. I want to read and remember fun times, sad times, stupid times, etc.

I'm going to try to post more often, just simple things on my mind if anything. I'll also try to read more journals, but that probably won't happen. (I say I'm going to every other entry I make haha.)

Anyway, back to reading before work!!!

charbroiled sign

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:56:41 GMT

HARDEE'S

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why am i living here?