Monday, August 10th, 2009
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4:27 pm
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i'm sitting in the food court on my lunch. i feel like i'm deteriorating. i'm just dissolving into this terrible routine. i can't stand my job. everyone argues and no one knows what they're doing. no one even cares. i feel like i need to see a therapist or something. on a side note, i hate seeing people with their kids. for one, i just don't like kids. two, they don't look happy. almost everyone in the mall has a baby. It's weird. the people in this area breed as if they need to repopulate the planet. i've seen women in my store with 5 kids, each a year apart, and pregnant. That's insane! i just can't deal with it. most of them ignore their kids in our store, too. ugh. i need a break. i want to go home. i miss my friends and family. i need a hug lol.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, May 22nd, 2009
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10:59 am - fuck trophies
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http://mydrunktexts.com/view/received-texts/844
I'm sick and tired of people telling Noah and me that we either NEED to have children or WILL have children. I don't get why people can't understand why we DON'T want them. I know it makes some people happy and it's supposed to be a gift or some bullshit. I don't care. A lot of people I know with kids aren't happy. I think it's silly and just another thing to brag about to someone because people LOVE talking about themselves.
We don't want kids. Ever. We're selfish. We want to be able to travel. We like saving money and doing the things we want to do. We don't want something to tie us down. We want to live in new areas for his work. Why would we want to constantly uproot a kid? That doesn't sound good for a child at all.
I have a low tolerance for people and am extremely irritable. Most "adults" annoy the piss out of me. So, how will I react with something that constantly craves attention from me and only me? Not well. I am very impatient and I like things done my way. I don't like dealing with obnoxious noises and I am a neat freak. I don't need some little monster ravaging through my house. No thank you.
So, please, stop telling me that I love kids and I need them. Sure, our children would be the most attractive and smartest kids in the universe. That's a given (lol). I don't care. Kids are cute in small doses. They can do cute things and say silly stuff. We neither NEED nor WANT them. Our cat is enough for us, and is much more loving and adorable than a child.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, April 9th, 2009
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3:42 pm - holy fucking tits
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When I was little, I had a little Hello Kitty toy. She was a bath toy, but I hadn't remembered that. I loved her so much. She is one of the few toys I remember from my childhood. I asked my mother if she kept it. She informed me that it got all messed up from me taking it into the bath and carrying it around. I really wanted to have her. That was when my Hello Kitty obsession started, so I thought it would be neat to have. (Also, because I'm so OG.)
While looking through Etsy.com, I found her! In pretty darn good condition, too. She was only $10!! Can you believe it? It was meant to be. I need to scan pictures of me when I was little, carrying her around. I must have got her for Christmas when I was 2 or 3. I am so excited! I can't wait to get her in the mail. :)
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
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12:23 pm - miyew
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I feel like I should write, but I don't know what to say...
Noah and I have been married for a year. It's weird. Time goes quickly.
I still get shit for hours. Whatevs. I'm way too lazy to find a different job.
It got cold again here. That's no fun. I want to play outside :(.
This is boring. I got nothin'. Sorry?
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, February 5th, 2009
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1:39 pm - Marshmallow
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This is the adorable kitten I've been babysitting for the past week. it's been nice to have a kitty around to play with and pet. She is awfully rambunctious, though! She starts playing too rough sometimes and it makes me want to beak her little neck!!!! Fortunately, I can give her back. I'll miss her some, but it will be nice to not have kitty litter all over my bathroom...
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
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6:09 pm - confusion
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i can't stop having these bad dreams. i mean, every night i have weird dreams, but much too often i have really similar bad dreams. they leave me with this horrible, depressed feeling all day. i can think of only one other time where i have felt so discarded. i hate it and i don't know how to fix it. i have some ideas, but i don't know if i can do it...
ps why does it seem like english majors lately are a little retarded? like, they can't use the right words or spell corretly! my apartment complex sent out a letter saying we everyone needed to "distinguish your cigarette butts appropriately." noah and i decided to place full cigs around the complex so that the smoked ones are easily distinguished...
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, December 25th, 2008
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8:34 pm - xmas
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It's Christmas Day. I have spent it alone, on the computer. Go Navy! Yes, Noah has duty on Christmas. So, I have neither family, friends, nor husband on a holiday again. I am so lonely.
It's okay, though. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. It was in the 60's today. That's not very December-ish at all. It's weird. My body's schedule is all jacked.
I will probably die when i go to Michigan. It should be a pleasant death, though. I hope it happens while sledding, in an epic fashion. I can't wait to sled. All the snow better not melt!
I am so excited to see my family. I miss them all so much. Talking to them on the phone made me feel even more lonely. I'm just worried about my mom and I want to be there for her. I feel so useless and i can't stand it.
I need a break from Virginia. I need time away from H&M and the crew. I need some Michigan time. I need my Lolita kitty. I need an adventurous drive with my husband. I just need a break from thinking.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
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4:41 pm - fuck
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my head is fucking killing me. i feel like my brain is exploding.
i'm so depressed, i don't feel like leaving the house. my life revolves around H&M and zelda.
my husband is amazing, but i feel stuck in a rut. i hardly even want to go to michigan, which is weird because i miss so many people.
this should really stop soon. k thx.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, November 24th, 2008
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10:19 am - hot pockets
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i am so fucking depressed.
i have no idea why.
i totally hate it.
perhaps lucky charms will help.
i think i just need a family hug, namely from the cfiz.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, November 15th, 2008
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9:29 pm
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i waste all of my time. why is it so hard to be productive? why is it so hard to be something important? i'm just too lazy for my own good.
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(comment on this)
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1:49 pm - Dear Michigan Friends,
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I got out of work at 1 today to step into a gorgeous and sunny day. That is correct: 11-15-08, 77 degrees. Sure, it's been raining some today, but that doesn't mean the temperature isn't awesome. So, my dearest Michigan, I suppose there are some good things about Virginia :D.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, November 14th, 2008
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2:12 pm - new hat
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Monday, November 10th, 2008
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6:31 pm - merrrr
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sushi, can you understand my tragedy? SO TRAGIC!!!
i wish i could be that guy that tries so hard to be something else just to be accepted.
no wait, i enjoy being myself, whether or not i am accepted. i would much rather have no friends at all than have people like me for being fake. i can't imagine spending my whole life trying my best to be an entirely different person. and to be so desperate for approval that i'll take anybody or anything i can have.
i don't know. i suppose i'll never be able to understand everything. i just wish i knew people as well as i thought i did. it's sad to think about all the fake people around you.
i'm glad my husband is my best friend. i'm glad i still have michigan friends that i can talk to on the phone as if we just saw each other.
i wish i could control the world.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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11:59 pm - Chipotle
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Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
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10:26 am - hmm
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Noah and I started working out lately. I want a kickass stomach. And no more love handles. I've always had them, though. Dunno if they'll leave... hmmm... Anyway, I'm working, ever so slightly, to be ultimate hottie (errr somethin'.) I'm really bored. Just wasting time until work.
I've been really depressed lately. Well, the past couple of days have been good. I've just been feeling... mopey I guess. I can't think of a more appropriate word right now. Carving pumpkins and going on an apple adventure have helped it out a lot. I'm still getting down though...
I think It's just from working so much. Whenever I work a lot, no matter where, I get really moody. I think it's just a feeling of being stuck and not being to do what I want. I don't like feeling tied down. I want to feel like I can get up and do whatever whenever. It's okay, I have very few hours for the next two weeks. That should help, especially since next week Noah and I have requested time off to just hang out with each other.
He's basically my best friend. Practically my only friend seeing as Byerly is moving in a few days. Oh wells, who needs friends? They just let me down anyway. I'm oooover it :)
current mood:  moody
current music: MAXIMUM THE HORMONE
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
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8:57 pm - Autumn
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I made a delicious apple pie yesterday. I am the master of the kitchen! Seriously, this pie was kickass. We still have another million apples, so I'll probably make another. I am slightly upset about having to work Halloween night. I want to give out candy to trick or treaters. Oh wells... We are going out to the gay bar that night. Noah's friend is in the process of being gay and it's awesome hahah. Anyway, I think Noah is going to be Michael Myers. Or some masked killer. I'll probably just be a kitty cat again. So boring, i knowww... But I'll be cute! I don't really have anything else to write about. Nothing really new... Meh?
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, October 26th, 2008
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11:09 pm - pumpkins
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
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8:06 pm - virginia
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i think i got over being homesick. i mean, i miss my cat, a certain 5 year old, and a baby. that's about it. i miss my mom, too. but yeah, i'm slowly getting over it all. i enjoy talking to people on the phone and i've finally accepted that that's all i can have. it's like i'm enjoying virginia more or making it my new home, i've just given up. i'm giving up on a lot of things. mostly trying to erase all feelings from my body. life is easier when you're a robot.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
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10:51 am - fucklife
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I come home yesterday from a delicious meal at Taco Bell, and I see that our hot water heater is flooding our kitchen. "Awesome," i say to myself while running to the office. We have had problems with that damn thing for a month now and have complained at least once a week. Not a thing has been done. Well, good job Anthony (apartment manager), because now it's fucking flooding my damn place!!! Water is even in the padding in our carpet right by our kitchen :(. Robert (maintenance guy) came and vacuumed it up. He replaced the faucet where it was spraying from. That still doesn't solve our issue of the heater not clicking on and only filling the tank one time. (That one time happens to be in the morning when I hit the fucking reset button.) Robert said he'd be back in the morning to replace the thermostat, but who knows if he'll ever be back here. He was also supposed to order us a light bulb for our fridge that was burned out before we moved in. Fuck this place and fuck my life. Floods = no fun :'(
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, October 16th, 2008
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9:01 pm - emos
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i saw a dead cat on an on-ramp for 264 today.
it's sorrow penetrated my soul.
so sad.
current mood:  depressed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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bubble_trumps's journal
